


Human Boyfriend 101

by Btw Where The Hell Are We (GrumpDerpShipping)



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon), Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: M/M, Romance, cute shit, demon shipping, like...a lot of it, no porn but 's cute!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-09-06 20:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8768383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpDerpShipping/pseuds/Btw%20Where%20The%20Hell%20Are%20We
Summary: Even with thousands and thousands of years worth of sins and evil under their belts all these three demons want is love. Yeah, these young teens will TOTALLY believe that.





	1. Beastly Gifts

A long sigh mixed into the tranquil sounds of the surrounding woods and footsteps on dry, crinkled leaves. “Hey Greg, how about we sit down for a minute?” A brunet teenager finally spoke up after a long time of silence.

“Okay, Wirt.” A young boy plopped down on a nearby fallen log with his frog friend, his next name was yet to be decided. Wirt sat next to him and stretched out his legs.  
“Hey! You guys shouldn’t be resting. We need to keep moving!” a small bluebird huffed and perched on the teapot resting on Greg’s head. “Beatrice, my legs are killing me!” Wirt groaned in defense of his choice. “We can wait, I’m pretty sure Adelaide isn’t going anywhere.” Beatrice huffed again and reluctantly stopped complaining.

Wirt glanced around the peaceful environment surrounding the step brothers. Brightly colored leaves floated down from the trees onto the sunlight speckled dirt. The faint sounds of a flowing stream was just in earshot. A chilly gust of wind passed over them and Wirt shivered, pulling the ends of his cloak closer to help conceal his body heat.  
“Hey Wirt, look at this!” Greg broke the tranquil silence and picked something up off the ground. Wirt raised an eyebrow as Greg pulled a bouquet of flowers into his line of sight. “Aren’t they pretty?” Greg smiled.

Well Wirt couldn’t argue with that. The bouquet was a beautiful pattern of blood red roses and deep blue irises. The flowers were held together by an artistically woven pattern of smooth, thin, tree branches. By the color it looked like the branches were from those edelwood trees scattered throughout the woods.  
Wirt examined the delicate craftsmanship of the bouquet. “Why would someone just leave this here?” Beatrice questioned. “Dunno…” Wirt replied, staring vacantly into the swirling kaleidoscope pattern of the arranged flowers. Should these flowers even be in season?

“Wirt? Wirt!” Beatrice smacked his hand with her wing, causing his hand to hit a small thorn on one of the roses. Wirt let out a small yelp and pulled his hand away from the flowers. A small orb of blood seeped out of his ring finger before dripping down to his nail. Wirt then slipped the finger into his mouth and sucked the blood out to soothe the stinging pain until the skin healed enough to stop the bleeding. “S-sorry…” Wirt muttered, despite Beatrice being at fault for pricking him.

“So what should we do with it?” Greg asked. “Do you wanna take it home and give it to Sarah?” “W-what?! No, no let’s not do that.” Wirt stuttered. “We’ll just leave it here. Someone’s probably planning to give this to someone already. Let’s not ruin it.” Wirt stood up and placed the bouquet of flowers in the exact place it was before. “It is very beautiful though…” Wirt thought to himself. “Whoever that’s meant for, I hope they love it…”

“What was that?” Beatrice asked. Wirt stood up straight. “Nothing!” The blue bird gave him a smirk and sat on Wirt’s shoulder. “C’mon, let’s keep moving towards Adelaide’s.” Wirt nodded as his brother slipped off the log and back onto his feet. A chill passed through Wirt again as they left. He shuddered, yet Greg and Beatrice seemed unaffected by it.  
“So, at least in my eyes, sneakers aren’t actually the ideal shoes for sneaking around.” Greg walked in front of the group as he finished his analysis. “I…guess you have a point.” Wirt muttered before Beatrice shushed him. “Look over there.” she pointed her wing towards a gap in the brush surrounding them. Wirt obediently walked over and peeked through the bushes, Greg doing the same.

A short, hunched over man was shoveling hay onto a large wooden cart, attached to it was a white horse with a chocolate colored mane. “Okay, I see a guy…” Wirt muttered. “Why are we watching him?”

“Not the guy you idiot, the horse!” Beatrice huffed. “What about the horse?” Beatrice smacked her wing against her forehead, this guy was just beyond help.  
“We steal the horse and use it to get to Adelaide’s faster!” “Yeah! A daring horse heist!” Greg cheered. “Greg, no! We are not stealing a horse.” Wirt corrected.  
“Well walking is going to take forever. Especially with you stopping for breaks so much.” Beatrice huffed. “Well…what if we just hitch a ride on the cart? Who knows, he might be going the right way.” Wirt shrugged. “And how are we supposed to know he’s going the right way?” Beatrice huffed. “He’s going the right way.” Greg spoke up, the other two raising an eyebrow, temporarily distracted from their bickering.

Greg held up a small slip of paper and Wirt crouched down a bit to read it. “In a carriage, lined with hay, this old soul will lead your way.” Wirt read it over a few times, this was not Greg’s handwriting.

“Greg, where did you find this?” he asked. “In that tree.” Greg replied with a blunt smile, pointing to a tree a few meters away. “Okay that’s…creepy, but I guess it couldn’t hurt to try.” Wirt shrugged. “You’re just going to trust a random note?!” Beatrice yelped in protest.

Wirt looked up at the dark clouds beginning to blot out the sun and coat the sky like gray watercolor paint. “It’s out best choice right now. C’mon.” Wirt squirmed past the bushes and walked up to the cart after the man left, by this point the cart was piled high with hay. Greg walked up as Wirt climbed in and set his frog friend on the cart before crawling on himself. Beatrice sighed and reluctantly followed the boys as they crawled deep into the haystack as drops of rain began to hit the ground.

“Quack!” The group yelped at the sound, unable to see much in the darkness. Greg felt around in the hay until his hand brushed against feathers. “There’s a duck in here!” Greg cheered, picking up the bird with a grin. Wirt sighed. “Should I question anything at this point?” he muttered, speaking to no one in particular. Greg set the duck down beside him. “Isn’t that technically a question?” he asked. Wirt sighed again and face-palmed as the cart began to move, making the group bounce and shift along the uneven dirt path.  
“See Beatrice? We can just relax for a bit and still end up closer to Adelaide’s house.” Wirt leaned against the walls of their small hay hut. “Plus we’re safe from the rain now too.” Beatrice sighed and nestled into the hay. “Fine, but I still don’t trust this…” Wirt smiled softly, Greg and his frog were already asleep.

Not feeling that tired, Wirt kept his eyes open, listening to calm and almost rhythmic sound of the rain pattering against the straw shelter as the cart moved at a calm pace. Time almost seemed to stop, as if also wanted to slow down to take in the peace. Wirt was eventually brought back to reality as something landed in his lap.

Wirt lightly brushed his hand against the object before grasping it gently, it had a wooden texture but he couldn’t see what it was. “Greg, did you throw this?” Wirt asked. He was given silence, Wirt could barely make it out, but Greg’s sleeping figure was still across from him so he was still there but he didn’t seem to be the culprit.  
“Beatrice?” Wirt turned his head to look at her. No, she was still sleeping too. Was it just stuck in the top part of the hay before? What was this thing anyway?  
Wirt shifted onto his knees and dug himself out of the haystack in the hopes there’d be some sort of light to let him see the unidentified object in his hand. The rain that hit his face was refreshing, though extremely cold, as he managed to push his head and arm out of the hay. A strike of lightning lit up the otherwise black forest, allowing Wirt to see what he was holding, just for a second.

It was a small humanoid figure with a crude face delicately carved into its head. A torn piece of black cloth was wrapped around its shoulders like a cloak and large cone hat, made if minuscule twigs and thread, was stuck to its head. “Is this…a little me..?” Wirt muttered, mystified at the wooden figures mere existence.  
A scream came from the front of the cart and it suddenly lurched forward as the horse sped up with a frightened neigh. Wirt squeaked and lost his balance a bit, falling forward and nearly losing grip on the figure. He managed to hold on without damaging it and crawl back into the haystack as Greg and Beatrice were waking up from the sudden shakiness of the cart.

“What’s going on out there?” Beatrice asked, slightly annoyed. “I don’t know. The guy driving just started freaking out!” Wirt shrugged. “The Beast is upon me!!” the man yelled from outside, clearly in a panic.

“The Beast? But I didn’t see anything out there.” Wirt said. “Well then clearly this guy is crazy and now he’s taking us way off course!” Beatrice glared slightly as she poked her head out of the haystack to get a sense of where they were.

“I knew we shouldn’t have listened to that weird note Wirt! Wirt…?” Beatrice looked back over at the boy she was attempting to scold only to find him staring at a tiny figure in his pocket. She huffed and decided to wait until he was less distracted.

Wirt had heard her talking but that wasn’t going to gain any of his attention in comparison to the tiny wood Wirt he held in his hands. The flowers, the note, and now this figure. Wirt knew that these items had some kind of connection. If only he knew what.

He decided to dwell on it later and gently placed the figure in his pants pocket before the cart tipped onto its right wheels during a sharp turn, the contents of the cart falling out effortlessly.

As the cart drove out of sight a looming figure watched as the boys and bird stood up from the damp hay and made their way into a nearby tavern in search of food. It huffed and sunk back into the darkness of the forest, it’s pitch black figure camouflaging it well.

“Well, well, well! Isn’t this an interesting development!” a sinisterly chipper voice echoed through the rain. The creature’s glowing white eyes gave a deadpan expression as a large singular eye appeared in front of it. Glowing gold bricks floated around the eye and with a flash the source of the comment made himself known.  
“I thought you had been wiped from existence…” the black creature muttered, sounding disappointed and annoyed. “Nice to see you too Beasty!” he remarked, ignoring the question on his humiliating defeat not long ago.

“It’s just ‘Beast’ Bill. How much longer are you going to call me by that pet name?” “Until I get a better one of course!” Bill twirled his cane around in his tiny black hand. He let go of it but it just kept spinning in place.

“Now, back to the topic of that meat sack you’ve been eyeing all day.” Bill “smirked” and floated around his companions head. “A boy who wandered into The Unknown last week, what of it?” Beast glared. “You don’t normally play with your food. What makes him so special?” Bill causally sat down on Beast’s twisted antlers.  
“You’re one to talk Cipher. Rumors are spreading that you’ve gained a crush of your own.”

“Oh! So you’ve heard of my new favorite puppet, huh? He’s just the most precious thing. Like a paranoid baby deer!” Bill laughed. “I’m sure that paranoia has nothing to do with what you’ve done to him.” Beast muttered, his deep voice laced with sarcasm.

“Hey, at least he knows what I look like! You’re never going to get that lawn gnome’s attention if you keep staying in the shadows like this!” Bill poked his cheek teasingly. “I don’t need advice from you. Showing kind gestures from a distance is the best option I have.” Beast sighed softly.

“Ooh, you have it bad Beasty. It’s a shame you won’t listen to me though. I guess I won’t be sending you a plus one to me and Pinetree’s wedding.” Beast scoffed slightly. “You honestly think that your disturbed personality will have a child swooning over you? You’ll drive him to insanity or suicide before that ever happens.”

“Is that a bet?” Bill sounded intrigued. “I suppose it is…” Beast crossed his arms. “Well then I’ll bite! We’ll see who can get their human crush to like them back first.” Beast nodded in reluctant agreement to this silly bet.

“Then it’s settled. See you soon Beasty!” Beast huffed as Bill disappeared in a fit of laughter, the cane still there, spinning infinitely. Beast tried to forget the yellow annoyance and continued on his way. Damn triangle.


	2. Encrypted Flattery

The click of heels pacing the floor echoed throughout the blood red room, the sound of crackling flames and this guy’s ANNOYING voice was the only thing else he could hear. He purposely started slamming his shoes harder on the floor to help drown out his rambling.

“And then he said the dumbest thing! He really thinks his quiet stalker method will get him date! You stalk your enemies for information, not your dumb mortal crush. Ol’ Beast is losing his mind.” Bill floated around the room, looking to his friend who gave an agitated and distant “uh-huh”, a small trail of smoke seeping out the corner of his scowl.

“You okay there Three Eyes?”

“DON’T-” his young friend whipped around, his three eyes glowing with rage, his rage-filled scolding at Bill was quickly interrupted as a small pink bunny was placed in his purple clawed hands. “Walk it out and talk it out, Master Tom.” a pudgy man reminded the demon. Tom huffed and pet the small creature in his hand with a surprising amount of love and gentleness. “Don’t call me Three Eyes, Bill. You’re nicknames suck.” he said in a much more calm tone.

“Wow, and I thought you were crazy for getting a mortal life coach to “help” you. Seems like he would’ve died a while ago.” Bill examined the human as he took notes on how Tom’s behavior was improving. His ‘48 Days Anger Free’ pin would stay for now just because of how quickly he recovered from that outburst.

“Brian has been a real help actually. Anything that keeps me from turning into my father is doing something right.” Tom shrugged and sat down on his bed, the small rabbit still in his arms. “So what are you doin’ all this for Three Eyes? It’s gotta be a bit more than just your daddy issues.” Tom shot him a glare.

“It’s because the Blood Moon Ball is coming up. Duh! Star and I broke up almost 3 months ago and now’s my chance to try and get her back.” he smiled, clearly eager to win back his princess. “If I can convince her I’ve changed she’ll give me another chance and I get a dance with her under the moon. Our souls will be bound and then she’ll have no choice but to admit she’s in love with me.” Tom cupped his hands over his slightly blushing cheeks and smiled.

“Heh, yeah, you sure got a real big chance with her.” Bill rolled his singular eye. Tom raised an eyebrow. “Are you implying that Star won’t take me back?” he growled under his breath. “Maybe…” if he had a mouth he’d no doubt be smirking. “Hey, I got an idea. How about you join Beast and I in our little contest then. Get a mortal to fall for you before the rest of us.” Bill held out his hand.

“Ha! You’re on! I got this in the bag already.” Tom grinned and shook the triangle’s hand. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get my own plan underway. Good luck, kid.” Bill vanished with those ominous words hanging in the air. Tom ignored the uncomfortable silence left in the air and went back over his plan for wooing his “Starship”.

 

Rusty bed springs squeaked loudly as a young girl leaped onto the mattress a puff of dust and year old glitter flew off the bed, causing her to cough and hack. “It’s so good to be back!” she cheered in between coughs.

Her brother rolled his eyes but smiled as they were both washed over with nostalgia from last summer. “If I’m being honest Mabel, I almost think mom and dad are crazy to send us back here again.” the boy smirked. “Monsters, ghosts, Grunkle Stan being a wanted criminal for…well basically everything now. Not to mention the literal apocalypse! And you told them all of that!”

Mabel shrugged. “They just thought it was my imagination running wild again. Besides that doesn’t matter. The important thing is we’re here, Stan and Ford are coming tonight and there’s no more evil triangles of impending doom to wreck our summer.” she grinned optimistically.

Dipper shuddered at the mention of Bill. “I’m going to have to remember to destroy that statue of him in the woods, if someone hasn’t already that is. But you’re right. This time around we can hang out with our friends and relax.” he smiled warmly. “That’s the spirit!” Mabel cheered. Dipper chuckled at her enthusiasm. “C’mon, let’s go get the rest of our bags.”

“Dipper!” Mabel called from the bottom of the stairs. “I’m going to surprise Candy and Grenda! Can you finish cleaning up? Pretty please with glitter on top!” Dipper rolled his eyes and poked his head out of the bedroom. “Just be back in time for Soos to take us to the docks. Wouldn’t want to miss Grunkle Stan and Great Uncle Ford pulling in, would you?”

“Kay!” Mabel grinned and scampered out the door. Dipper watched her run out into town through the attic window with a smile and went back to sweeping up all the dust, dirt, and cobwebs around the room.

He wiped his brow as he finished and laid down on his bed, pulling a white journal out of his bag, a light blue pine tree image on the front of it. Twirling a chewed up pen between his fingers, he flipped through his last year of entries, which were admittedly a small portion of the book. He kept trying to save pages for when he would come back to Gravity Falls. Now he was far too eager to start.

The dead silent room filled with the sound of the ballpoint pen scribbling across the pages, though this silence was quickly shattered and gone however as Dipper was torn from his thoughts by a large scraping noise coming from the outside wall. It sounded like something was climbing to the window.

Dipper put his journal aside and got out of bed to take a peek at what it was. He opened the latch of the triangular shaped window and peered out.

“Y’ELLO!” Dipper let out a high pitched yelp and scrambled backwards, falling on his behind when he tripped on his duffel bag. A pair of tanned hands grabbed the edge of the window and pulled up the rest of the body into view. A young man smiled brightly at Dipper, he had messy, golden blond hair and white slotted shades resting on his freckle speckled face.

Dipper clutched his chest slightly. “Oh my god you scared me to death!” he exclaimed as he stood up and squinted at the boy, a vague sense of recognition washing over him. “Do I…know you?”

The boy swung his legs over the edge of the window and hopped into the room, a small pout crossing his lips. “Aww, Pinetree I’m offended you don’t remember!”  
Dipper’s face paled in shock as the blond gave an unsettling, toothy grin and pulled off his shades. Slitted pupils met Dipper’s terrified ones, the very creature that traumatized his previous summer had found it’s latest victim. “B-BILL?!”

“See! I knew you remembered!” Bill grinned a bit wider while Dipper continued to stare in horror. “B-but…we!…you! We destroyed you!!” he stuttered and backed away. “Silly Pinetree, you can’t just “destroy” something like me.” Bill stalked towards him.  
“W-what are you gonna do? Kill me?! Destroy Ford’s equipment while he’s gone?! You’re gonna do the baby heads thing now aren’t you!!” Bill chuckled softly. “You really are adorable sometimes.”

“a…dorable?” Dipper raised an eyebrow and stopped backing away though he quickly got back on topic. “Get out of that kids body Bill! I won’t let you possess anymore people!” knowing the horror of having your body stolen and violated personally he wouldn’t stand for that above all of Bill’s shenanigans.

The demon laughed again. “Calm down, Pinetree. I got one of my followers to sneak in and use that copier you got in Fez’s office. This vessel’s all my own!” he grinned and struck a pose to show off his new meat suit.

“The copier huh…” Dipper suddenly darted past Bill and grabbed a half empty Pitt Cola can off the desk underneath the window. He hurled the can at Bill, thoroughly soaking the blond’s head with the sugary pink liquid. Bill simple wiped his wet bangs away from his face and smirked as Dipper’s face slowly dropped to confusion and panic. “Y-you’re not melting! You’re made of paper!”

“Laminated paper, Pinetree.” Bill corrected, strolling towards Dipper again. The boy let out panicked squeaks and stutters from his throat before suddenly grabbing fist-fulls of Bill’s shirt and hurling him over the desk and out the window with every ounce of strength he had.

He quickly shut the window and panted heavily as a loud crash came from outside it. He sat back down on his bed, taking off his trapper hat to wipe the nervous sweat off his forehead as he caught his breath.

Dipper eventually stood up and hid his journal as safely as possible, praying that Bill wouldn’t get into the Shack again. He went downstairs, being around Soos, Melody, and the tourists in the gift shop might help calm his nerves. “I should probably tell Soos about him…” Dipper muttered to himself as he walked into the gift shop, littered with a few tourists. Melody was sitting at the checkout counter with…oh god no!  
“Are you sure you’re okay kid?” Melody asked, handing another band-aid to Bill. The demon in sheep’s clothing was sitting on the counter, shades placed back over his eyes. “Nah, trashcans broke my fall. I’m fine.” he shrugged and placed another band-aid on his scratched up leg.

“What were you doing up there anyway?” Melody raised an eyebrow. “I was going to visit Dipper and I slipped, I heard he came back today.” Bill smirked, glancing at Dipper to show he knew he was there and could hear them clearly. Dipper growled under his breath.

“Oh, Dipper!” Melody called when she noticed him. “One of your friends tried to climb up to your window. Soos saw him fall near the trash.” Bill waved to him a very feminine way and hopped off the counter with a grin. Dipper glared and grabbed his arm as he walked by, dragging him towards the door.

“Oh, so forward Pinetree. I like it!” Bill smirked as he stumbled awkwardly on his feet, eventually regaining his balance when Dipper pulled him out the door and a few meters away from the house.

“First of all, stay away from Melody. Second, what the hell are you trying to pull!” he demanded. “Aw, what? I can’t visit my favorite sack of hair and organs?” Bill tussled Dipper’s curly brown locks before his hand was abruptly smacked away.

Dipper narrowed his eyes. “You want something from me, don’t you…”

“Well yeah! You were so helpful to me before that I-” Bill was cut off.

“Don’t say it like we’re friends! You stole my body!” Dipper yelled, his voice cracking slightly.

“Stealing would imply I didn’t ask first kid.” Bill flashed a cocky smirk while Dipper fumed with anger.

“But you’re right. I do want you.” Bill mindlessly strolled around the boy.  
“W-wait what was that?” Dipper squeaked.

“I want something from you.” Bill repeated bluntly.

“Well you aren’t getting anything! I’d never help you and I sure as hell won’t be taking anymore deals from you!”

“Oh lighten up, Pinetree. Stop being so dramatic. You act like just helping me out would be the end of the world or something.” Dipper wasn’t sure to be more angry at his persistence or that joke.

After a minute of anger fueled silence Bill playfully bopped Dipper’s nose, causing him to take a few steps back from the demon. “So you’ll think about it?” Bill asked in a chipper tone. “Hardly!”

Bill sighed and moved his shades to rest in his hair, letting Dipper see his nightmare-inducing eyes. “You’re so cute when you’re stubborn but I’ll change your mind eventually Pinetree. You can count on that~” Bill smoothly stepped closer to Dipper and snaked his arm around Dipper’s waist. An unsettling wink caused Dipper to tense. He felt his cheek getting warm.

“AHHHHHH!” a feminine war cry came from behind him as Mabel ran up, smacking Bill over the head with the dusty broom in her hands. Bill let out a slightly embarrassing yelp as dirt flew everywhere and Mabel kept beating him.

“Ah! There’s so much in my eyes!” Bill cried out, having let go of Dipper long ago try and shield his face from Mabel’s ruthless attacks. “Get away from my brother you damn triangle!!” Bill let out a defensive hiss and ran for the woods, Mabel chasing him with her broom held high and a crazed expression on her face.

She stopped at the edge of the clearing, the brush being too thick to see where he went. Dipper walked up to his panting sister, making sure she had calmed down so that she didn’t attack him too before speaking up. “Th-thanks Mabel.”

Mabel lowered her weapon and smiled at him. “No problem bro-bro. Good thing I noticed his eyes or might’ve just thought you had a boyfriend.”

“Ew! Mabel stop it!” Dipper gagged and playfully shoved her. Mabel laughed but quieted down after a second, her face dropping to a more serious look. “So…he’s back…?”

“I don’t know how either but it looks like our relaxation plans will have to wait.”

 

Tom shivered violently, his feet still frozen where they were and completely numb. The Blood Moon Ball had ended well over an hour ago and everyone had cleared out of the ballroom, only one of them being even somewhat nice and throwing a towel onto his shoulders, though it wasn’t doing much for his cold and soaking wet clothes.

“Hey, Three Eyes! How’ve you been? You just…chillin-”

“Stop!” Tom snapped, glaring at Bill as he turned the corner completely and entered the room.

“What? It’s just a joke kid.” he lightly knocked on the melting block of ice Tom was stuck in up to his waist. He easily cracked and shattered it, causing Tom to ungracefully flop onto the floor. “I’m really not in the mood Bill…” Tom sat up with a huff, pulling his now “0 Days Anger Free” button off his suit and tossing it away.

“Night didn’t go as planned eh?” Bill sat next to him and sympathetically pat his arm.  
“Star’s friend crashed the party. The moon sealed Star to him…not to me. Damn Marco…”

“Marco, huh?” Bill repeated.

“Marco, Marco, MARCO! I’D CURSE EVERYONE WITH THAT NAME IF I COULD!” Flames rapidly grew from Tom’s skin as he snarled with rage.

“All that blood seal nonsense is overrated if I’m being honest.” Bill shrugged. “It’s not like it guarantees that you’re “meant to be” the bond could be completely platonic.”  
The flames around Tom died down, the teen’s pierced ears perking slightly. “That’s it…I still have a chance!” he grinned, suddenly filled with hope as he stood up.

“I’m not out of this game yet, Cipher. Just you wait! I’ll get Star to love me if it takes every trick I got. That’ll show Marco a thing or two…” Tom walked out of the room while Bill stayed with a devious look.

“Oh yeah, you’ll show him…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are you not telling us Cipher?


	3. Burning Confession

“Point, Marco.”

Tom shot the lower class demon a look at the comment before turning it from angry to disheartened as he watched Star and Marco pull away from their friendly embrace. He was pleased to know that their relationship was platonic but that didn’t make his chances of getting back together with Star any better at all. His arm still stung a bit when he shifted it, damn that girl could punch hard, even if he deserved it for trying to trick her into getting back together with him.

Tom snapped out of his trance and realized he was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room once Marco and Star’s eyes were on him. “Well…I guess I’ll…just be on my way then…er…see you later I guess…” Tom slipped back into the carriage hovering just outside the balcony as he was starting to sweat. He let out a loud exhale of breath he didn’t even know he was holding in as the carriage lowered into the flaming portal below and into the underworld.

“Ugh! I sounded so stupid!” he groaned and tugged at his hair in frustration. “You only just noticed that?” and here he thought this day could get any worse. Bill appeared beside him with a smug look in his eye.

“How long have been watching me?” Tom huffed, more annoyed than curious. “My vessel in my dimension needed to rest so pretty much all day. Certainly long enough to finally see that mortal you’ve started chasing after. I must say he’s quite a catch!” Tom gave him a confused look before blushing furiously. “M-Marco?! Nu-uh I do NOT have a crush on HIM!”

“Really? Seems like you were having fun in that supposed “battle to the death” ping-pong game.” Tom growled, his face still flushed. “You were always softer than me or Beast. It’s pretty cute that you’re in denial.” Bill laughed. “Shut up! That was supposed to lead to him dying but then we…started talking and…h-he sounded like he actually might understand what I’m going through…” Tom’s voice softly trailed off.

“Sounds like somebody’s got a new target.” Bill commented. “I still don’t like him like that! But…he seems cool… I-in like a close friend kinda way, y’know?”

“No” Bill replied with a blunt shrug. “But you better decide fast. I’m making wonderful progress with my Pinetree.”

Tom’s head shot up from his sulking position. “What?!”

“Oh yeah, he’s falling hard for me. Speaking of which I should get going. Wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.” Bill stood up.

“Wait a second!” Tom blurted. Bill looked back at him with an intrigued look. “If…hypothetically I did like Marco what could I even say to him? I’m pretty sure he still hates me…”  
“Try seducing him and see what happens!” Bill said without a second of hesitance.

“S-seduce him..?” Tom repeated with flushed cheeks. “From what I can tell, humans love the concept of sex. If you hint at that being part of the deal he’ll be putty in your lap!” Tom deadpanned. “You really are useless sometimes.”

Bill turned back around to leave. “I still know more than you kid.” He tipped his top hat and vanished, leaving Tom to think over his words, a curious hum escaping his throat.  
\---------------------------  
Tom huffed and adjusted his tie, it felt a bit tighter than usual. “Alright…calm down Tom, calm down. You’ve flirted with girls before. How is Marco any different?” he muttered to himself while pacing the roof above Marco’s room. It was still a bit dark out but he’d been impatient to test Bill’s advice after copying down a bunch of various pick-up lines at 2 in the morning. A few foot-shaped scorch marks now littered the roof when he finally stopped pacing.

“Okay, no more stalling!” Tom stepped down onto the window sill and gently pushed it open.  
“Hey Marco, do you know what you and the sun have in common? You sure brighten my day!” Tom gave an awkward grin as he slipped into the room, making finger guns towards the boy laying in bed.

When Marco didn’t respond his smile dropped and he awkwardly raked his claws through his hair. “Actually…yeah that was a really stupid thing to say…I…erm…” he shifted on his feet a bit before turning back to the window. “Forget what I said. Gotta go! Bye!” Tom dove out the window, blushing furiously.

A light groan escaped Marco’s lips as he rubbed his eyes. He could’ve sworn he heard something just as he was rolling into consciousness. A knock came at his bedroom door. “Marco? Is there someone in there with you?” Marco sat up with a yawn.

“No, I just woke up…”  
\-------------------  
“C’mon Star. We can go to the park after we finish the chores mom and dad left.” Marco told his friend as he went downstairs. He heard Star whine out a “fiiiine” and start using magic to do the upstairs chores. Marco rolled his eyes and pulled his phone and earbuds out of his hoodie pocket.

What little noises around him were muffled as the earbuds gently entered his ears and his embarrassingly long list of pop songs spilled out. He hummed along to the music, not being too loud to keep Star from bounding down the stairs to ask what he was listening to, or even worse, her recognizing the melody. Star was a very kind and accepting person but that didn’t mean he’d be free from teasing if she found out he loved female pop stars and boy bands, some of which she knew and adored.

He grabbed a feather duster from the hallway closet and went to work cleaning up the shelves and tables around the room. While he was meticulously cleaning the bookshelves a column of flames erupted from the floor and, as quickly as they appeared, they vanished, leaving Tom standing in their place.

“Marco? Could I uh…ask you something?” With his back turned to the demon Marco let out another hum. “Mm-hmm…” Tom’s ears perked a bit at the noise. “Well heh…here goes nothing…” He cleared his throat and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pants pocket, his voice awkwardly paced since he was reading off it and his handwriting had gotten a bit smudged.

“So Marco, do you have pet insurance?” he asked. “Mmm” “If you don’t you better get some soon because your pus-oh…oh! Oh gods why did I write that one down?!” Tom buried his face in his hands and quickly burnt the paper he was clutching, mostly out of uncontrollable embarrassment.

“That doesn’t even work for guys! Oh my gods, Marco I am so sorry. I’ll just leave. Forget I was even here!!” Tom disappeared in another burst of flames. Marco took a step back to admire his cleaning job before taking his earbuds out with a pop. “Hey Star, were you saying something?”

“No, why?”  
\---------  
Marco sat down on the cracked wood bench with an exhausted sigh as he picked up the water bottle resting beside it. He took a swig of the gradually melting ice water and looked out across the luscious green grass to see Star still playing with her army of laser puppies. The park was essentially empty since anyone who visits the park regularly knows to just drop their things and run once Star rolls in, being dragged by a mass of fur and lasers.

Marco leaned back against the bench and smiled as Star wrestled with Sajak to try and get a rope toy from him. He was a strong little thing. Marco heard the wood underneath him creak as more weight settled down onto the bench. Marco took his eyes off Star to see who had sat down before scrambling backwards with a startled yelp and nearly falling off the bench.

Tom was sitting next to him, his body was clearly tense and a few drops of sweat were forming on his brow. Two of his eyes were fixed on the ground but the third was darting around rapidly. “Uh Tom…? You okay?” Marco asked warily.

Tom looked up at Marco, smoke floating off his body and out his mouth. “I-I um…you…cu-” he coughed awkwardly to try and get his words out correctly. “R-rea…h-ho” Fwoosh! The stuttering demon, along with the bench burst in flames.

Marco yelped and leaped off the bench, just barely getting off before the flames consumed his seat. He grabbed his water bottle and hastily unscrewed the cap, throwing the remaining water on the demon. Tom snapped out of his panicked state and went into a coughing fit, some of the water had gone down his windpipe. The flames died down as his mind was taken off trying to talk to Marco. The brittle and charred black bench gave out from under Tom and he sat dazed, dripping wet and sitting in the dirt.

“Tom…?” Tom stood up, not bothering to brush the dirt off his pants before he bolted from the park. “Tom wait!” Marco called, but he had already fled the area in humiliation.

“What was he doing here?” Marco muttered to himself.  
\----------------------------------------------  
Beast gave a relaxed sigh as another vial of oil was added to his lantern before tensing as he sensed a demonic power source nearby, a very familiar one. He took off into the woods, seamlessly weaving past the maze of trees as he zeroed in on the power source. He grabbed Tom and picked him up like a child, still moving quickly until he reached a large clearing in the woods and setting him down on a slightly damp patch of soil.

“You know I don’t like you near my trees Tom.” he spoke calmly. Tom shook the slight dizziness from his head and huffed, not understanding why Beast found it necessary to carry him like an infant and then drop him like a rock. “Sorry…”

“What brings you here?” Beast asked, settling down in a seated position next to Tom.

“I’m having some trouble man…”

“With the Mewnie girl?” Tom shook his head.

“It’s someone new.”

“So you changed targets then…”

Tom groaned. “Yes, and it’s the worst! I’ve been trying to talk to him all day and just now I almost set him on fire because I got too nervous and started panicking!” Tom set his head in his hands and fell back onto the ground with a groan. “And that isn’t even the only way I’ve messed up just trying to talk to him…”

Beast silently took in the information for a moment before speaking up. “You didn’t take advice from Cipher did you?”

Tom sat back up. “No..! well…” he huffed in defeat once Beast gave him a deadpan look. “Okay, I did sorta take his advice…” he admitted.

“First of all, stop doing that. As much as he hates it, Bill has no idea what he’s talking about when it comes to human emotions.” Tom nodded in both agreement and understanding. “Secondly, you’re trying too hard to rely on this “advice” he gave you. Focus more on what you’re comfortable saying and doing with this boy. It’s what I’ve been doing.”

“As always Beast, you’re right.” Tom sighed and stared at the ground in contemplation.

“I’m sure you’ll find something that will work for you, Tom.”

“Thanks man…”  
\-------------  
Tom stood at the front porch of the Diaz household, taking deep breaths to keep himself calm. “Okay…no tricks, no bad pick up lines, just…tell him how you feel.” Tom sighed. “Here goes…everything.”

Tom threw the door open, keeping a grip on it so it wouldn’t slam into the wall. Marco stood in the living room with his back facing him, the hood of his jacket over his head. “Hey, Marco. I need to talk to you.” Tom glanced around the room and stepped inside.

“I’m…I’m sorry about earlier. I was just really stressed out because I uh…I don’t want to sound weird but I REALLY really like you Marco. Like…you’re really cool and nice and…cute? I-I mean like a weird boy-ish cute, not like a girl or anything. Well…I-I didn’t mean to say ‘weird’ either. You’re not weird I swear, I mean compared to other humans at least.” Tom blushed furiously as he rambled, trying not to dwell on his words.

The point is I know you might not like me but…I like you…I just came to tell you that…” he looked down at the floor and awkwardly shifted his weight between his feet. He looked up shyly when he noticed Marco begin to turn around.

A high-pitched squeal hit his ears and he winced as the teen ran up to him. “I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!” The hood fell off the teen’s head, revealing a head of fluffy blonde hair. “W-wait, STAR?!” Tom blushed bright red as Star grabbed his shoulders and started shaking him.

“OH MY GOOOOSH! YOU SERIOUSLY LIK-” Tom slapped his hand over her mouth. “Shhshhshh!! Star please be quiet!” Tom whispered, he knew Marco was somewhere in the house and he didn’t want Star to blurt it out. Star nodded in understanding and Tom took his hand away.

“What are you doing wearing Marco’s clothes?” Tom asked. Star grinned slyly. “I overheard you trying to flirt with Marco this morning. I thought I was going crazy but, here you are! About to ask “Marco” out on a date.” Tom groaned. “Oh my gods, you didn’t tell him anything did you?” she shook her head. “He has no idea. Besides, it wouldn’t be any fun if I spoiled the surprise. In fact, I think I’ll help you out!”

“WHAT?!” Tom coughed awkwardly to try to calm down and keep himself from yelling. “You wouldn’t be mad about me dating him? I mean…we…” Star set a finger over his lips. “Don’t worry about it Tom. Now I have a question for you.” Tom’s voice was muffled by her finger. “Yeah?”

“Do you know anything about Mackie Hand?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been your daily reminder that Tom is in fact a dorky cinnabon that needs love. We thank you for your time.


	4. Foolish Possessiveness

“Hey! Beast!” Tom waved down his friend as he ran into the woods from the clearing.

“TREES Thomas!” Beast hissed with the tone of an agitated parent. Tom slowed himself down and backed up with a bit of a stumble until he was back in the clearing. Beast huffed and calmed down as he followed the young demon into the clearing. “What is it?”

“Your advice worked! Well...kinda. Star agreed to help me get Marco to warm up to me.” Tom grinned brightly. Beast couldn’t help the soft smile that crossed his face.

“Well good job Three Eyes! I honestly didn’t think you’d make it this far.” Tom felt a cane hook around his middle as the triangle at the other end tugged him close and ruffled his hair. “Oh, hey Bill...I didn’t know you were here.” Tom pushed away to keep his personal space intact.

“Well I was just talking to Beasty about my progress with my Pine Tree. Not to brag but it’s going smoothly.” Bill attempted a modest look. Tom rolled all three of his eyes. “All you do is brag.” he commented.

The two quickly got into a conversation of their own which doubled as an argument as it often did. Once they were distracted, Beast slipped back into the trees. Hearing the two attempt to one up each other as far as their progress with their humans was getting uncomfortable to listen to.

He was still in the exact same spot he was last month with Wirt. He’d kept a close eye on the boy, who had surprised him in how well he’d been able to survive out here but he still watched him just to make sure he wasn’t hurt. Other than that there had been nothing. He hadn’t revealed himself or spoken a word to the boy. At some point he even stopped giving him gifts once the risk of being caught hiding them became too great.

Beast sighed and slumped slightly against a tree, he had to do SOMETHING soon. He couldn’t let Bill of all people get the best of him, especially when he initiated with stupid bet.

It was pathetic really. The Beast of the forest was at the whim of a human who barely understood a thing. He who ruled the forest with a chilling grasp couldn’t bring an ounce of his power against the boy even if he tried. This is not how things should be. If a beast wants something he takes it for his own! Maybe Bill was right, for once. He was being too quiet. Beast flashed a wicked grin, now was the time for the forest to claim his prince.

“Hey, where’d Beast run off to?” Tom suddenly asked, ignoring whatever their previous conversation had been. Bill shrugged. “Dunno…” Tom cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean “dunno”? I thought you were supposed know everything.”

“Lots of things.” Bill corrected. “I never said I know everything. Besides, The Unknown is his domain. I can’t find where Beast is unless he’s okay with me finding him. Or if he lets his guard down.”

Tom shivered and crossed his arms tight over his chest. “It’s getting pretty cold. It’s almost December here, right?”

“Yeah, in this dimension. Better get back home before you get frostbite little royal.” Tom shot him a small glare as he shivered and pulled up a portal back to his room. “Shut up.”

Wirt shivered slightly as he slumped against a nearby tree. He didn’t know how long it had been since Beatrice betrayed them. With no real hope of getting home time was beginning to blur, and with all the clouds overhead it was impossible to tell morning from evening. He didn’t know if it had been hours, days, or just mere minutes. All he knew was that there was no hope left.

He couldn’t comprehend how Greg was so optimistic. Was it his childish ignorance or was it for his own sanity? Wirt pulled his cloak closer, the late fall wind stung his face as he closed his eyes. He felt Greg settle down next to him, putting a pile of fallen leaves on them both as blankets. Wirt might’ve broken down crying if the breeze didn’t keep drying up his tear ducts.

The Beast loomed over the boys once they were fast asleep, a tiny twig of edlewood squirmed out of the ground and slowly wrapped around Wirt’s ankle. More sprouts formed around the boy as he shivered and squirmed in his sleep. Beast could feel his misery and numbness, a perfect time to claim the boy. “You’re powerless now and my forest will soon take you as mine. There’s no point in fighting. Show me your mind boy…”

Wirt was at peace in his mind. All the trouble of being lost seemed to wash away. He was at peace in this tranquil bubble. The world around him was an indistinguishable blur of deep blue and violet colors, as if they were slowly being mixed on a painter's palette by an unseen brush. His body was numb but still warm as he stayed there, alone with his thoughts.

Not long after, a small sting of cold nipped his toes. It coiled up his leg like a snake he couldn't see. The silence around him was filling with whispers and incoherent muttering from voices that weren't his own and the echoing sound of a deep singing voice.

The chill along his leg turned into a twisting edlewood branch slowly moving and twitching up his limb. Wirt let out an audible yelp and attempted to shake it from his body. Shadows gathered before him and slowly took the Beast's form, his piercing white eyes locking onto the boy. Wirt backed away, his small mindscape now feeling more confining than comforting.

“Hello Wirt” Beast spoke calmly with almost a chipper tone to his voice. Wirt tried to calm the racing heartbeat pounding in his ears as he managed a response from his shaky lips. “W-what do you want from me?” Beast took a step towards the boy, his ghostly steps not making any noise. Wirt scrambled back against the wall, his feet and hands making a hollow echo noise that surrounded the small dream bubble.

“There’s no need to fear me child. You know who I am, don’t you?” Beast asked, kneeling down slightly to be closer to Wirt’s height. Wirt looked up from his curled up frame, shyly gazing into the Beast’s eyes. “You’re the Beast, right? That horrible creature everyone’s been warning us about.” Beast huffed quietly. “All superstition and nonsense. The villagers that scatter these woods used me as a warning to their children not to wander the woods alone.” Wirt released a bit of the tension in his shoulders.

Beast moved closer and Wirt’s arms became littered with goose bumps. The creature just seemed to radiate chills down the spine and Wirt quickly began to shiver. “So, what do you want?” he asked, uncurling his body and looking up to face him calmly. “The woods are more empty than you may realize child. As the caretaker, I mimic the woods. I’ve yearned for a companion for the longest time.” Beast huffed softly and sat in front of the boy.

Wirt gave the creature a sympathetic look and sat up straighter to reach his eye level. “I’ve noticed you’ve been growing impatient with your brother. Why is that?” Beast asked. Wirt huffed and turned away from Beast’s gaze. “We’re never going to get out of this forest but he’s so convinced there’s a way. I just don’t know what to believe anymore…” Wirt muttered as he absentmindedly rubbed the cloth of his cloak between his fingers. “He’s fighting a battle utterly deprived of victory. It’s fruitless to fight on if you know you won’t gain a reward in the end.” Wirt nodded slightly as Beast spoke.

“Then what do I do? It’s weird to ask but...how do I give up?” As hopeless as Wirt was he didn’t want to lose his life, not yet. “You could always be content with staying.” Beast wrapped an arm around the boy’s middle. “It can be a tranquil place to live at the best of times.” Wirt couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile.

“That sounds like something I could use right now. Ever since we got lost it’s been one crazy thing after another. I don’t even know how long we’ve been here.” Wirt laid against Beast’s side and closed his eyes. It felt warmer than before. “Good boy…”

After a minute Wirt began to squirm uncomfortably, he opened his eyes again. Beast had his eyes locked onto him, his body felt cold to the touch again. Wirt’s eyes drifted down to his own frame. Smooth edlewood branches slowly slithered around his body, the branches putting ever growing pressure on his body, like a snake preparing to drain the life of it’s prey.

Wirt let out a startled yelp and tried to struggle against the branches that had already bound his arms and legs. “B-Beast what’s happening?!” his yelled to the creature, his voice rising in pitch with every syllable as he panicked. “You said you want to stay, so you’re staying with me.” Beast spoke calmly, the feathers of his cloak ruffling from their smoothed out position as he tone of voice grew agitated. “Now stop struggling.”

Wirt cried out and attempted to kick the creature. “Let me go!” the boy broke the thin branches restraining one of his legs and swung his foot until it smashed into Beast’s jaw. The branches covering him wilted slightly and Wirt broke one of his arms free with little resistance. Beast hissed in pain and glared at the boy as he pulled the dead branches from his body. “You’ve made a grave mistake…”

Beast stood up, now towering over the boy, before letting the inky blackness of his body seep out and surround the small bubble. Wirt cowered from the darkness for only a brief moment before standing up straight. “Get out of my head! You think you scare me?” Wirt snapped. Beast flinched ever so slightly at the boy’s assertiveness.

“This is my mind and you’re not welcome in it. A heavy force hit Beast’s body as he was slammed against the edge of the bubble. Beast struggled against the force that restrained his entire body, screeching and hissing in desperation as he pulled further away from the boy he nearly had. The bubble stretched under the pressure before the creature was forcefully ejected from the boy’s mind.

Wirt bolted up, his breaths fast and shaky as his eyes scanned the surrounding area rapidly. Dead, shriveled up, branches laid across his torso until he ripped them away. Greg stirred next to him and sat up with drowsy eyes. “Wirt..?”

Wirt looked to his brother and sighed in relief, falling back to lay on the tree again before pulling the smaller boy closer. “Let’s get out of here, Greg. It isn’t safe…” Wirt stood up and pulled Greg to his feet. “Why? What happened?” Wirt squeezed his hand slightly. “It’s nothing. It;s just too cold to be out here. Let’s try and find a warmer place to sleep.” Wirt looked around the area again, no sign of the Beast. He sighed and pulled Greg towards the woods as snowflakes fell from the dark sky.

Beast laid on the ground beside the foggy lake, the cold weather not seeming to bother him at all. “What’s with the long face Antlers? Heh, or lack of face for that matter.” Bill chuckled and floated over to the creature.

“Leave me be Cipher…” Beast huffed out and turned away from him. “Aww, come on. What’s on your mind?” Bill nudged him lightly. “You mock every motion I make. Why should I?”

“C’mon, Beasty! I thought we were friends.” Bill whined dramatically.

Beast huffed and gave in. “I’m an utter fool. I fell under a spell of fury cast by your comments, whether you did this purposefully or not.”

“Yeesh cut it with the slam poetree for once.” Even if it was technically impossible to tell the difference Beast knew that pun had wriggled its way into Bill’s response.

“This is the exact reason I did not want to speak with you…” Beast muttered grumpily.

“Fine! Then I’ll just go. You’re no fun today.” Bill disappeared without giving time for Beast to respond. The creature sighed and continued examining the cold and dead grass around him. Centuries of being feared and alone had nothing on the misery that overwhelmed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone seems to be struggling. To be fair Bill isn't having as much luck as he claims. ;) (sorry for the sad chapter. We'll get back to the silly stuff next time)


	5. Trifecta of Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gift can be something to break the ice. But without an understanding of your lover it is plenty disastrous

Dipper stared out the window of the gift shop as he swept the dusty floor. After Bill’s little visit he immediately told his great uncle, Stanford. This greatly shocked and concerned him and he took protective measures before he could even unpack his bags from being away at sea. It was then that Dipper was thankful for the extra anti-weirdness shield materials Ford had carefully stored in case of a similar threat. Or, in this case, the exact same one.

They just barely had enough unicorn hair to trace the edge of the shack, something that had made Dipper a bit tense as the pile grew thinner while they applied it. From what he heard about the ordeal to get the hair from Mable, he’d rather not have anyone endure that again. A cruel scam, illegal trafficking, a break in, and a bloody fist fight. Although Dipper had considered part of that to be his sister’s imagination going crazy, the biggest similarity between her and Gravity Falls is no one knew what they would throw at you next, both figuratively and literally.

“Head’s up!” Dipper was knocked to the floor as a surprisingly dense pink yarn ball hit him square in the face. “Oops, I was supposed to catch that. Sorry dude.” Soos chuckled, picking up the ball and chucking it back to Mabel as more balls of yarn began to fly.

Dipper snickered and rolled his eyes, though decided not to get involved in their battle. He went back to sweeping as an excuse to stare the floor. He heard Stan quickly scold Mabel and Soos before having them clean up the yarn. Soon enough Dipper was alone with nothing but his chores and his thoughts.

WHAM!

The boy jumped as he heard something hit the screen door near him. He turned around, holding the broom in front of him as if it would serve as a functioning weapon for whatever was outside. He didn’t hear anything moving around, and were there...flower petals caught in the screen? Dipper lowered his broom and approached the door, plucking the smooth violet petal from the ripped and twisted screen.

He opened the door, now more curious than fearful. He groaned. “Mabel!” a large bouquet of flowers rested on the doorstep, a mix of blue, indigo, and bright yellow flowers were piled into a soft light blue silk, a card stuck to the fabric.

Mabel poked her head around the corner with a grin. “What’s up bro-bro?” Dipper sighed and picked up the flowers. “You got present from someone.” Mabel gasped excitedly and swiped the flowers from his hands. “Did you already get another boyfriend? Or...oh god please tell me that isn’t from Gideon.” The more he thought about that the more the bouquet seemed to smell of his cologne. “Nah, he’s pretty much over me.” Mabel inspected the flowers curiously before pulling the card free of the rest of the gift.

“Well who is it?” Dipper asked, tilting his head a bit. Mabel only gave his brother a wide smirk. “Oh I don’t think this is for me Dipper.”

Dipper’s eyebrow perked up higher as Mabel waved the card in his face. There were no words, just a little, blue, pine tree image inside. “Ooh~ looks like someone has a secret admirer!” Dipper scoffed.

“What? That’s just a picture of a tree, that doesn’t prove-”

“Bap!” Mabel stuck the card to Dipper’s hat, right over the original pine tree logo. Dipper sighed in defeat, blushing slightly. “So, someone actually likes me??”

“That’s what an admirer does bro. Falls head over heels for you!” Dipper smiled softly and took back the flowers. “Huh...an admirer...sounds kinda nice…” As Dipper reveled in the fantasy that a beautiful girl was shyly leaving flowers at his doorstep a hiss came from the bouquet.

Dipper looked into the dark cracks between the flowers in the arrangement before a large black snake lunged out of the flowers. Dipper screamed and held the flowers and hissing snake away from his face. Mabel yelped and jumped away as large black spiders swarmed Dipper’s arms. The boy flailed and panicked, crashing into the wall before finally managing to throw the flowers out the door and frantically shake off the spiders.  
“What the hell was that?!”

Bill peeked out of the bushes with a disappointed frown, why did he throw it away? That flower arrangement was beautiful! Beast told him humans liked flowers. Then again leaving an arrangement for his human didn’t work out so well either. You know, what does that guy know anyway! Bill huffed and got up, strolling toward the main part of town.

 

Bill stuffed his hands into the pockets of his shorts as he wandered down the town’s sidewalk. He wasn’t afraid of being caught as the demon monster that traumatised just about everyone last summer, these people were idiots. Everyone on the planet was, even Pine Tree!

“...but he’s...my idiot…” he murmured to himself, a faint blush on his stupid human cheeks. Why did this vessel have to show so much emotion, it sucks! 

He brushed past the window of a jewelry store that was closing for the day, almost walking past entirely until a faint sparkle caught his eye, he turned his head back to the window, in the display a beautiful bright blue pin in the shape of a pine tree. The low summer sun caught it perfectly, leaving small blue dots reflecting off around the display. The gold backing shined magnificently and it certainly looked pricey. It was perfect! Pine Tree would love this!

Bill gave the gem a greedy smirk and sauntered off before anyone could notice he’d been standing there. He’d be coming back for that one.

 

“Piiine Treeeeee” Dipper could hear him whining and tapping on the shield. Dipper huffed and ignored him, somehow the demon knew he was alone and Ford was way down in the basement where his tapping couldn't be heard.

After a few more taps the shield retaliated and made Bill yelp as a shock went through his body. “Oww!” the demon sucked on his stinging finger pitifully and muttered a few latin curse words to himself before raising his voice again. “Pine Tree come out. I just wanna talk kid.”

Dipper spared him a glance out of curiosity. His vessel was dirty and ragged, hair greasy and sticking up in odd ways and an arm was caked in dried blood. It had been several days since he first got this body and clearly Bill hadn't considered bathing during any of them. The vessel had grown extremely thin as well. Either Bill was only finding scarce amount of food or he kept forgetting humans need to eat to live.

Bill pulled a small box out of his shorts pocket and lightly tossed it into the weirdness barrier. It passed through with no resistance and landed in the grass near the gift shop’s entrance. Dipper raised a cautious eyebrow at the box from inside before look back to Bill. He gave an encouraging and eager nod and motioned for Dipper to retrieve the box.

The boy gave him a deadpanned look in return. “If you don’t get out of here I’m getting Ford.” Dipper warned. The demon took this as sign to leave before he got caught by someone who would happily run out and kill him.

Dipper huffed and got up from his spot at the counter, deciding to retreat to a room devoid of windows to keep Bill from pestering him.

As he turned to go sit in the living room curiosity pricked at his brain. What the heck did Bill just toss into the yard? Something to trap him? Something else to rip the dimensional barrier? He should at least give it to Ford in case it’s dangerous. Wow, he is really good at reasoning with himself.

Dipper turned on his heel ignoring Mabel and Soos watching the local news (something about someone smashing the window of a jewelry shop last night) and went back to the screen door near the discarded box, eyeing it suspiciously. He couldn’t see Bill anywhere, hopefully he ran off far enough that he wasn’t spying on Dipper through the bushes. He kept his mind off the thought just enough to grab the box and go back inside.

It was smaller than he thought, just a simple yellow ring box with a slick black ribbon tied around it. What kind of horrifying interdimensional creation did he cram into this thing? Dipper’s fingers trembled slightly as he tried to peek open the box. He strained his eyes to try and see inside it.

“Hey Dipper!” Dipper yelped and closed the box, hiding it behind his back. “Whatcha got there?” Mabel cocked her head and attempted to see the little box.

“Uh...it’s nothing.”

Mabel peeked over his shoulder with a sly grin. “I spy a jewelry box! Is it for a girl? Do you have another crush?!”

“W-what?! No!!” Dipper held the box out to keep if out of her grip as Mabel made a motion to grab it. Mabel hooked her leg around her brother’s ankle and tripped him. Dipper’s hat flew off his head as he hit the floor of the gift shop with a thud. Mabel stepped past the squirming limbs of the boy and grabbed the box with a victorious laugh.

Dipper rolled to his stomach and frantically reached to trip her up but she was too far away by then. “Mabel don’t open it!” Dipper cried out. Mabel teasingly cracked the box open before flinging it open fully. Dipper shielded his face on instinct but all that came was a surprised gasp from his sister.

“Whoa! Where’d you get the cash for this?!”

Dipper looked up curiously, shouldn’t that box be spewing nightmares right now? Mabel picked up something sparkly out of the box with amazement. A thin, gold, pine tree-shaped pin rested in her hand, one side of it completely decorated with bright blue jewels. “It’s just a pin?” Dipper raised an eyebrow.

“Just a pin?! This looks like it costs more than the shack!” Mabel exclaimed.

“Hold on give me that.” Dipped stood up and plucked the pin out of her hands. He spun it between his fingers and looked at it from every angle.

“Well you better tell me who this mystery girl is soon but I’ll leave you alone...for now.” Mabel tossed the box back to him and left the room.

“Huh, doesn't look like any kind of charm or monster. The barrier wouldn't let it pass through if it was so that makes sense.” Dipper muttered to himself. “But then...why give it to me if it wouldn't do anything?”

Dipper traced his finger along the edge of the shape. He was a bit disturbed the day he realized the pine tree symbol on his hat is just two triangles and a stick. Triangles...they’re his gateway into this world, like a window of some kind. That’s what Ford told him. Draw an eye on a triangle and he can see through it, no matter the size or materials it’s made of. Soon enough Dipper could see the gems embedded on the top half of the pine tree forming an oval shape. His eyes traced the shape before they narrowed in disgust at the sparkling pin.

Dipper adjusted it in his hand so the eye was covered by his palm before going up to the roof through the secret ladder in the gift shop. A gust of cold evening wind hit his face as he stepped out into the dim sunlight. He wound up his arm before throwing the pin as far as it could, faintly hearing it hit a tree but not being able to see it anymore. Dipper let out a huff and drop kicked the box off the roof as well. “Good riddance…”

Bill held back a yelp when the sharp point on the tip of the pin hit the skull of his vessel. He huffed in annoyance and glared at the pin, now resting on the grass behind him. He leaned over and flicked it deeper into the forest with a groan. “What went wrong? This is what humans like right? Ugh, I told that branch head this was a stupid idea...” He sighed and tucked his legs close to his chest. Simple didn’t work, expensive didn’t work. What else could he do? He wasn’t about to run to Beast begging for more advice. Alright, time to get serious. Pine Tree wouldn’t be able to resist this one!  


 

The demon looked over his new gift, he’d really outdone himself this time! But it was so delicate, he couldn’t just chuck it past the bubble without it breaking. Getting inside wasn’t an option at this point, even if he could break the barrier Ford would be upstairs with a gun (or twenty) before he could say a word to Dipper. He’d have to… His mouth formed into a wide grin when he heard the front door open.

Mabel ran outside with a joyful woop and a water gun in hand, Dipper following close behind with his own weapon and a bucket of water balloons.

Bill watched them fight off the hot summer sun with their water fight, grabbing the tail of a squirrel that was inching up a tree. It shrieked as Bill forced out what little consciousness it had, his human form going limp for the moment as the squirrel leaped out into the open.

The water fight was getting more intense and Dipper had just shifted outside the protection bubble. The squirrel scurried to him, leaping onto his back and grabbing the water pistol from his arms. “Hey!” Dipper yelled and attempted to chase the squirrel who was carrying his toy into the woods. He winced at the twigs and rocks hitting his bare feet but kept after the animal.

It tripped on the large item it was attempting to carry and slumped to the ground, laying completely still. Was it...dead..? Dipper gave the suddenly still animal a disturbed look before slowly reaching to grab the toy.

The leaves of a bush rustled out of the corner of his eye and he bolted straight up, clutching the water gun tight enough to turn his knuckles white. A hand shot out of the brush and grabbed his arm, yanking him deeper into the woods. Dipper screamed and attempted to struggle before he was pushed up to a tree.

Hanging from it was an elaborate design in the shape of a heart, the middle filled in with small triangles. But…wait are those bones?! Dipper let out a shocked and disgusted yelp, looking closer the bones on the outside had engraved codes on them and the whole thing was yelp together with unidentifiable strings of flesh.

“Like it Pine Tree?” Bill grinned happily, standing behind him. Dipper whipped around, eyes wide and angry. “What the hell Bill?!”

“All those cliche human gifts weren’t working out so I thought I’d give you something a bit more...personal.” Dipper gave him a horrified look.

“Presents? Wait, the bouquet of spiders was you too?!”

“Surprise!” Bill chirped. Dipper glared at him. “Look I don’t know what you’re trying to pull demon but I’m not falling for it. You can’t trick me anymore!”

Bill’s wide grin faltered.

“I’m not going to bother even looking at anything else you throw pass the barrier. I know you’re planning something and I don’t even want to TOUCH whatever that is!”

“Aw don’t be like that Pine Tree. I worked so hard on it.” Dipper glared and shot him in the face with a blast of the water gun. The demon coughed and sputtered as the boy shimmied past the bush and walked away. “If you come near the shack again I’m letting Ford deal with you.”

Bill let his more cheerful expression sink as Dipper left, he pushed his wet bangs out of his face and lightly kicked at the dirt. “Stupid human…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This damn triangle is hopeless but at least he's trying...
> 
> Sorry this took so long. This chap gave me serious writers block =_=


	6. Glitches and Kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A simple time together to lighten the tension and catch up on things. But can this lead a relationship to the worst place of all?

“I told you Beast’s plan was dumb! I’m just going back to stalking him.” Bill huffed as Tom sat next to him, tightly clutching a bowl of cereal.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…” Tom mumbled, shoving another spoonful into his mouth.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Bill gave him a perplexed look.

“Stresh eatin!” Tom yelled between the squishing noises of him chewing, finally speaking again once he swallowed. “Marco’s coming over to hang out today and I’m a little on edge.” he sighed.

“What’s the big deal? It’s just a human.” Bill rolled his eye.

“Speaking of which you better get out of here. I need to get ready.” Tom hopped off his bed and shooed the dream demon away with his free hand.

“Fine, sheesh, good luck kid.” Like always, Bill was gone before Tom could reply to that. It’s not like he would've anyway since he was focused at his bathroom mirror now, the overpowering scent of hair spray filling the air as he fixed his magenta locks into the gravity defying position he liked to keep it in, being especially thorough today.  
Tom couldn't help but feel like he was on thin ice with Marco. Even if Marco was smiling at the end of their Mackie Hand movie date he had still botched it horribly. He’d gotten too greedy and tried to use the date to also pass his anger management by lying to his life coach and saying that he still hated Marco the most.

He knew somewhere deep down that Marco didn't resent him for getting mad and destroying the tickets but that didn't stop his anxiety from bringing up the alternative as a possibility.

Tom continued to fuss with his hair and guyliner until he heard a ripping noise out in his bedroom. Poking his head back into the room he saw Marco step out of a freshly formed portal before pocketing his dimensional scissors.

“Hey Tom.” the boy smiled and gave a simple wave. Tom slinked out of the bathroom.

“Hey Marco, good to...to see you again.” he rubbed his arm awkwardly.

“You too dude.” Marco smiled sweetly before digging into the cloth bag he was holding. “I got that new fighting game Immortal Fighter 5. I thought I’d wait to play it with you since Star doesn’t exactly get video games. She almost broke the tv last time.”

Tom snickered slightly and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like Star. But sure man, I’ll play with you. My system is over there.” Tom casually pointed behind him to where his tv and bean bags were. Macro followed his friend over and set his bag of snacks down and handed the game to Tom.

“So I haven’t seen you in a while. What’s new?” Marco asked as he plopped down on one of the bean bags.

“What do you mean? It’s only been like a week.” Tom’s middle eye raised its eyebrow.

“Oh, sorry. I’m trying to remember that 16 years in Hekapoo’s dimension was only 8 minutes here.” Marco shrugged. Tom nearly dropped the game and stumbled to catch it again.

“You were in Heckapoo’s dimension?! I...guess that explains why you seemed so happy when I texted you earlier.”

“Yeah, but I got my own scissors now.” Marco smiled and held up the dimensional scissors from his pocket.

“Whoa…” Tom grinned and snapped his fingers, a small flame appearing on his finger tips. He held the flame to the scissors, illuminating Marco’s name engraved on that scissors. 

“That is so cool!”

Marco smiled. “Thanks, it took a lot to get them.”

“I bet. I only learned teleportation magic because I gave up on her challenge.” Tom turned back around to put the game into his system.

“So what’s going on with you?” Marco asked as he put the scissors away again. Tom gave a shy smile and itched the back of his neck.

“Well, I graduated anger management finally…”

Marco smiled brightly. “Congratulations Tom.”

“Yep, no more obnoxious regiments to follow and Brian actually gets out of my hair every once in awhile.” Tom strolled over to a large cage, scooping up a familiar ball of fluff. 

“And I got to keep little Marshmallow.” the demon beamed adorably, holding up the fuzzy pink rabbit with pride.

Marco giggled at the sight of Tom’s therapy pet, gently reaching over to pet Marshmallow once Tom sat down and set him in his lap.

The small bunny nuzzled Marco’s hand after sniffing it thoroughly. He had not a care in the world as he inched closer to Marco’s hand before flopping out of Tom’s lap and in between the two bean bag chairs with a squeak. Marco chuckled and picked him up. “You silly bunny…”

Tom smiled at their antics. “He likes you.”

Marco smiled back and set Marshmallow in his lap, letting him curl up in the diamond shaped gap made by his crossed legs as Marco picked up his controller as the game's first cutscene began to play, stringing together a ridiculous plot to attempt to give a reason for all of these colorful characters to be fighting each other in a brutal tournament.

Despite the lack of sense in the story itself, the boys marveled at the improved graphics and new characters, Marco particularly eying a new ninja character. They didn't speak a word, only communicating through conjuring gold Japanese characters that the subtitles translated into English. Stone cold like the metal in his blade, so cool!

Once the boys were allowed to pick their fighters Marco’s cursor took the shortest route possible to that guy, apparently named Nicos. Tom casually scrolled his cursor through the remaining cast, selecting and deselecting a few times before landing on one that caught his attention. A busty woman named Sonita, with flowing purple hair and black curled horns growing from the sides of her head, with an outfit that made it very clear why this was a T rated, almost M rated, game to say the least. With their fighters chosen the round began.

“I will not lose my honor to you.” Nicos’s text read as he dropped onto the platform.

“I won’t go easy on you darling.” Sonita quipped as she joined him on the other side. After a quick test of the jump, block, and basic attacks they took off into the battle.

“Whoa! This guy is fast.” Marco laughed as he frantically moved his controls so he didn’t fall right off the floating stage.

Sonita jumped him quickly, firing energy attacks toward Nicos. Taking a few hits, Nicos darted down to a lower platform on the stage. Sonita attempted to follow but the ninja was already across the platform and jumping back up to the middle platform by the time she got down.

“Hey, get back here!” Tom glared slightly at the tv as he continued to chase him.

Marco laughed and jumped around teasingly at the top of the stage. Sonita double jumped and went into a quick float as she reached the same platform. Nicos ran up to the edge of the stage and hit her with a flurry of swipes from his katana causing the demon girl to fall, just barely catching the edge of the platform.

A power up spawned next to her and quickly ran to it, Tom spending a few seconds to figure out which button would let her use it. The screen darkened as a purple glow formed around Sonita. In Marco’s panicked attempt to get away from the special attack Nicos ended up on the exact same platform as Sonita was on.

“Ha! Check this out!” Tom grinned as large balls of energy circled Sonita before launching toward Nicos in a hypnotizing swirling pattern. Marco yelped and attempted to dodge the attack but Nicos was met with a brutal hit as Sonita muttered incantations in an unknown language.

“Aw, what? How’d you survive that?” Tom pouted as Sonita finished her special attack animation. Nicos had managed to dodge the attack just enough so there was the smallest speck of health left on his health bar. Marco prepared to hold out as long as he could before Tom managed to hit him just once to end the match but then he noticed, Sonita wasn’t moving, and her head was stuck in the bottom of the overhead platform.

Tom frantically moved his joystick around and she wouldn’t move. He started mashing his buttons and although she performed the animations she was still stuck in place. In fact, jumping a few times seemed to get her more stuck. Marco covered his mouth, struggling not to laugh at the bug.

Tom growled, leaving scratch marks on his controller as he started getting angry. Marco dropped his smile when he heard Tom snarling in frustration, glancing around to see what could calm him down. His eyes went back to his own character, nearly dead and in a wounded idle position, and smiled slightly. Nicos shuffled toward the still struggling Sonita.

“Hey, Tom.” Tom glanced up when Marco called his name. Marco motioned toward the screen, Nicos was within Sonita’s attack range.

“You deserve it, it’s a new game so you gotta expect some glitches.” Marco gave him a warm smile and set his controller down.

Tom cracked a soft smile and Sonita dealt the finishing blow. The animation slowed down as Nicos fell to the ground with a yell of pain echoing through the now silent battleground.

“Do not doubt my skills, mortal.” Sonita remarked as it zoomed in on the victor.

Both of the boys couldn’t help but laugh as the victory music swelled and the camera zoomed in on Sonita’s head sticking out of the top of the platform, her entire model starting to twitch rapidly as it attempted to move into her victory pose. Tom clutched his stomach as he laughed at the silly glitch, Marco having tears in his eyes from laughing.

“Oh my god, that was great.” Marco said once they both calmed down.

“Yeah…” Tom snickered before scooping Marshmallow up from Marco’s lap to make sure he was completely calm after the brief frustration of the glitch. He sighed and relaxed in his chair, running his fingers through the bunny’s short soft fur.

Marco raised an eyebrow when he heard a low vibrating noise before glancing over at Tom. He looked like he was in absolute bliss, sinking into the cushy beanbag with an adorable bunny on his chest. Marco soon realized the sound was coming from him. Was he purring?

The boy shifted in his bean bag and noticed Tom’s long pierced ear twitch as he came out of his zen state. Marco couldn’t help but smile.

Tom raised an eyebrow when he noticed. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just kinda like a cat.” Marco snickered.

Tom felt a faint flash of heat on his face. “Sh-shut up man…”

Unfortunately, the compliment caused him to start purring again. Marco couldn’t help but test his boundaries as he stretched out his arm and lightly brushed his fingers against the back of his ear. Tom jumped slightly from the unwelcomed touch as Marco gently scratched behind his ear. His purring got louder as he started leaning into Marco’s hand, unable to control his positive response to the contact.

“Like a fire breathing kitty cat.” Marco teased as he let his hand fall away from his ear.

“I don’t breathe fire, jerk.” Tom lightly punched his shoulder as his blush faded.

Marco squirmed out of his bean bag and stretched after a few more hours of various games and munching down snacks.

“I gotta head home. You can keep the snacks Star will just tear into them in the middle of the night anyway.”

“Alright, thanks.” Tom smiled and got up as well, popping his spine as he stretched.

Marco pulled out his scissors and cut open a portal in front of him. “I’ll see you later, Tom.” Marco smiled.

Tom smiled back, his arms outstretching a bit to offer a hug but Marco turned away before he could notice.

“See ya…” Tom mumbled as the portal shut behind the human.

Tom sighed and fell onto his bed, despite Marco’s friendlier tone towards him he was still distant towards him physically. The only time he touched him today was just to make fun of his purring.

What if Marco will only see him as a friend? He said his date with that other girl didn’t lead to anything but that didn’t make Tom a worthy candidate. The demon clutched the blankets under him and huffed before hearing his bedroom door open.

A servant slipped inside, not daring to actually set his feet inside the room. “Master Tom, the King requests your presence in the throne room.”

Tom sighed and crawled off of his bed, following the servant out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little fluff chapter before some bigger developments and an excuse to make some cute head canons with Tom.
> 
> SO as of right now if I get two more chapters in before Star vs. starts again in November (which isn't likely but I do have a floor plan for these chaps) I'm going to wait on updates with Tom's story until the season is over so that any information about Tom's parents is accurate. I'm sure you guys are used to long wait times with these but I'm letting you know that this one will be intentional.


End file.
